Dawn [Inferno] // Luke fon Fabre (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
heliokleptic) wrote2011-03-02 01:49 am
heliokleptic) wrote2011-03-02 01:49 am
Entry tags:
Luke State of the Union
So I've been essaying about Sugata a lot cuz lol Amethyst but not so much on Luke even though he actually has a lot of thoughts lately. Sortof...
Gosh, okay. Where to start.
So Dawn's memories so far are either all bad, bad in retrospect, or just bad because Luke is a sulky bitch who never looks on the bright side! There are also Guy and Asch's memories, which he mostly hears about the bad parts of (or only cares about that bit).
So far! What he knows: Master Van was my hero my entire life but eventually thinks I should die and considers me utterly worthless. Dusk at some point leaves the manor/city and falls in with thieves and begins to hate me. I spend my entire life locked in the manor only once I get out I decide I don't like it at all and want to go back. Van's sister is trying to kill him and it really pissed me off at the time but in retrospect maybe that isn't as terrible as it seemed??
There is much more, even a few good things, but those are the details Luke is focusing on right now. He isn't...depressed, exactly. But he is momentarily defeated. Without any new information until he gets memories, he's kind of trapped in a circle of unanswerable questions. He is worried that he might have done something so terrible that his brother and his Master would come to hate him.
This is a big change from Canon Bitchy Luke, who is sort of immune to the idea that he could do any serious wrong up until he destroys a city. But in general Dawn is ...learning a lot faster than he did in canon! Mostly because his canon life involved being a young lordling kept in a bird cage, but who was never taught any social graces because Duke Fabre already knew Luke was just going to die in seven years anyway so whatever why bother. In Aather Dawn has to do things for himself if he wants them to get done at all, and he has to live with a group of people and be at least somewhat aware of their feelings and actions and wants and personality.
This isn't to say Dawn has figured out empathy. But he does have a slightly wider perception beyond his own. 'Team' is an extension of 'self', if a kind of numb extension that he doesn't really know what to do with most of the time. He still default cares about everyone, and can't stay permanantly mad at them. Dawn is also inherantly adaptive, and for not being very smart he absorbs situation changes pretty well. So when it went from Dick is a jerk to Dick is crazy, that was upsetting but he also accepted it pretty readily and heightened his awareness of Dick and the bad things Dick might do and the unfortunate problems that might be in their future.
So, Dawn is currently somewhere between Bitch Luke and Repentant Luke, but very very far away from Actualized Jesus Luke. He has learned some basic self reliance and empathy toward people closest to him without being a total bitch about it, and when dealing with people he likes/wants to like him he isn't 100% a brat. He's currently very emotionally vulnerable, but also... tired and kind of accepting. Before Luke gets Pro-Active Solutions bitchsmacked into him by Tear, he has a very learned helplessness sort of reaction to things. Master Van lied to him so it isn't his fault and he couldn't have done anything. It's not his fault he doesn't know about the world because no one ever told him. It's not his fault he just ran into a trap, how could he have seen that coming, etc. At the moment Dawn is at "I don't remember what happened so why should I care about it?"
Of course he does care, very deeply. But his coping mechanism is to just relinquish all responsibility and do his best not to think about it. If MADE to think about it, he can admit his own helplessness and frustration, but mostly he avoids it and won't bring it up with anyone who doesn't bring it up first.
Still, because of this mix of terrible "Gosh I might have been a horrible person who lost everything I loved" memories, and Dick's actions toward Peridot, and Dawn developing friendships off team, and the general 'do it yourself' environment, he is making a LOT more progress in growing as a human being. Not to say he isn't still a whiny brat, because he is. But he does pull his own weight (sort of...) at Ruby, at least insofar as he doesn't try to get anyone else to do his laundry or quest for the things he wants.
He also generally has friends and can care about their situation, and is even thinking ahead to avoid doing bad things. Like he FLAT OUT REJECTED EVER BEING ENGAGED TO NATALIA because that seems like something Dusk might hate him for, and since he is really scared of Dusk hating him, it is clearly best if he just flat out says no way, it will never happen. So is he is trying to head off some bad things, and is also too tired to really be bitchy about anything. Mostly because from what he can remember of his past, he likes Aather a lot better. So even if a lot of things are a pain, it’s better than the alternative. He also remembered fighting and so is less afraid of getting mangled in bad games, which takes away a lot of the edge of unhappiness Aather created before. (He will later be very upset about those games from a jesus standpoint, but right now it more of a vague ‘ugh it will suck if that happen again…’ instead of ‘no that is TERRIBLE’).
Blahblah, Basically state of the Dawn is unhappy and defeated but moving forward mostly on Aather inertia and blinders. Which for Luke is like a 2 on an unhappiness scale from 1 to 10 (I’m sorry Mukuro shit can get so much worse…).
Gosh, okay. Where to start.
So Dawn's memories so far are either all bad, bad in retrospect, or just bad because Luke is a sulky bitch who never looks on the bright side! There are also Guy and Asch's memories, which he mostly hears about the bad parts of (or only cares about that bit).
So far! What he knows: Master Van was my hero my entire life but eventually thinks I should die and considers me utterly worthless. Dusk at some point leaves the manor/city and falls in with thieves and begins to hate me. I spend my entire life locked in the manor only once I get out I decide I don't like it at all and want to go back. Van's sister is trying to kill him and it really pissed me off at the time but in retrospect maybe that isn't as terrible as it seemed??
There is much more, even a few good things, but those are the details Luke is focusing on right now. He isn't...depressed, exactly. But he is momentarily defeated. Without any new information until he gets memories, he's kind of trapped in a circle of unanswerable questions. He is worried that he might have done something so terrible that his brother and his Master would come to hate him.
This is a big change from Canon Bitchy Luke, who is sort of immune to the idea that he could do any serious wrong up until he destroys a city. But in general Dawn is ...learning a lot faster than he did in canon! Mostly because his canon life involved being a young lordling kept in a bird cage, but who was never taught any social graces because Duke Fabre already knew Luke was just going to die in seven years anyway so whatever why bother. In Aather Dawn has to do things for himself if he wants them to get done at all, and he has to live with a group of people and be at least somewhat aware of their feelings and actions and wants and personality.
This isn't to say Dawn has figured out empathy. But he does have a slightly wider perception beyond his own. 'Team' is an extension of 'self', if a kind of numb extension that he doesn't really know what to do with most of the time. He still default cares about everyone, and can't stay permanantly mad at them. Dawn is also inherantly adaptive, and for not being very smart he absorbs situation changes pretty well. So when it went from Dick is a jerk to Dick is crazy, that was upsetting but he also accepted it pretty readily and heightened his awareness of Dick and the bad things Dick might do and the unfortunate problems that might be in their future.
So, Dawn is currently somewhere between Bitch Luke and Repentant Luke, but very very far away from Actualized Jesus Luke. He has learned some basic self reliance and empathy toward people closest to him without being a total bitch about it, and when dealing with people he likes/wants to like him he isn't 100% a brat. He's currently very emotionally vulnerable, but also... tired and kind of accepting. Before Luke gets Pro-Active Solutions bitchsmacked into him by Tear, he has a very learned helplessness sort of reaction to things. Master Van lied to him so it isn't his fault and he couldn't have done anything. It's not his fault he doesn't know about the world because no one ever told him. It's not his fault he just ran into a trap, how could he have seen that coming, etc. At the moment Dawn is at "I don't remember what happened so why should I care about it?"
Of course he does care, very deeply. But his coping mechanism is to just relinquish all responsibility and do his best not to think about it. If MADE to think about it, he can admit his own helplessness and frustration, but mostly he avoids it and won't bring it up with anyone who doesn't bring it up first.
Still, because of this mix of terrible "Gosh I might have been a horrible person who lost everything I loved" memories, and Dick's actions toward Peridot, and Dawn developing friendships off team, and the general 'do it yourself' environment, he is making a LOT more progress in growing as a human being. Not to say he isn't still a whiny brat, because he is. But he does pull his own weight (sort of...) at Ruby, at least insofar as he doesn't try to get anyone else to do his laundry or quest for the things he wants.
He also generally has friends and can care about their situation, and is even thinking ahead to avoid doing bad things. Like he FLAT OUT REJECTED EVER BEING ENGAGED TO NATALIA because that seems like something Dusk might hate him for, and since he is really scared of Dusk hating him, it is clearly best if he just flat out says no way, it will never happen. So is he is trying to head off some bad things, and is also too tired to really be bitchy about anything. Mostly because from what he can remember of his past, he likes Aather a lot better. So even if a lot of things are a pain, it’s better than the alternative. He also remembered fighting and so is less afraid of getting mangled in bad games, which takes away a lot of the edge of unhappiness Aather created before. (He will later be very upset about those games from a jesus standpoint, but right now it more of a vague ‘ugh it will suck if that happen again…’ instead of ‘no that is TERRIBLE’).
Blahblah, Basically state of the Dawn is unhappy and defeated but moving forward mostly on Aather inertia and blinders. Which for Luke is like a 2 on an unhappiness scale from 1 to 10 (I’m sorry Mukuro shit can get so much worse…).
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I'm sorry we all have sooooooooo many neg-sigs to go...